Going Down In Flames: Top Gear Episode 3

Going Down In Flames: Top Gear Episode 3

This screenshot pretty much sums it up. The show is still terrible. It’s still a blatant copycat of the original trio which created what we all used to know and love as Top gear, and it still has way, way, way too many hosts, guests, and awful segments. Chris should be ashamed and Joey should become a better actor.

There was one new thing in this episode; Sabine actually has a bit of input. The sad thing; it doesn’t help the show at all. Her segment begins with an awkward intro, albeit most likely the fault of Chris and the terrible writers the BBC has employed. The first lap ends with the twat that is Chris Evans begging for air and for the car to slow down. Seriously? What kind of car show host are you? Oh yes, you aren’t one. Clarkson was. I don’t recall him ever pathetically begging for mercy on a racetrack… The second lap? Chris rolls out of the car like a pathetic loser and then dumps his breakfast all over the racetrack. Great, now Laguna Seca is tainted forever.

The next segment features the forever unlikable Chris Harris. Chris Harris is the “car guy” that wannabe car guys refer to in hopes of seeming more legitimate or perhaps like they are in the know, so to speak. As such, he fits in perfectly with the terrible cast of the new Top Gear. In his segment he drives a classic Ferrari 250 TDF as well as the new Ferrari F12 TDF.

                               

       

If you think no one could be as obnoxious to listen to as Evans, then you should give this segment a listen and you will find someone giving their all to claim the title. Here’s hoping we don’t see much more of him in the future. At least we know he wont be on The Tour.

The guest stars in a rally car segment this episode are Kevin Hart and Anthony Joshua. Kevin Hart is his usual self and is perhaps a small bit of relief from what is otherwise a hard to get through show. The show continues to force the extremely awkward new tradition of making the stars introduce one another which is painful to watch. This is followed by an interview which seems to last an eternity but ends in a painfully setup show plot.

The following segment features Rory Reid ( and yes almost all Americans will say ” who the fuck is Rory Reid”) driving the new Ford Focus RS. Car aside, the segment was probably the best of the show. Reid is well spoken but not exceptionally exciting to listen to or to watch. Perhaps he holds more appeal across the pond. One note was the already infamous Focus RS “Drift Mode” was done one a soaking wet racetrack. Curious, very curious. Reid follows up the Focus with a new Civic and Benz hatch “review” which is half-assed and obviously biased. This is where he lost me as a viewer. No respect for unequal car reviews. Come on. He ends his segment saying the RS is ” more super than super cars”. Ok bud, congratulations. You’re now as idiotic as the other hosts.

The final segment features the infinite media whore ( in the best possible way) that is Ken Block. He takes us on yet another of his now extremely tired and over done gymkhana rides featuring all the slow-mo GoPro style shots and silly aerial views we have all come to expect and have become callused to. Forced comedy continues throughout the segment as Joey, er, sorry Matt tries to get out his terribly written one liners with little more than, what I expect to be, a disappointed frown from viewers. The entire video like the rest of the show feels overly scripted and forced. It’s a shame a nice guy like Block got suckered into appearing on this show at this point.

So as Top Gear continues to go down in flames at least we can hold on to this one thing: The Tour with Clarkson, Hammond, and May will be here in October. We just have to old on until then.

PS: How did they miss the best opportunity for a great Stig Gag here?

(It should have been the Stig painting it)

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