Going Down In Flames: Top Gear Episode 3

Going Down In Flames: Top Gear Episode 3

This screenshot pretty much sums it up. The show is still terrible. It’s still a blatant copycat of the original trio which created what we all used to know and love as Top gear, and it still has way, way, way too many hosts, guests, and awful segments. Chris should be ashamed and Joey should become a better actor.

There was one new thing in this episode; Sabine actually has a bit of input. The sad thing; it doesn’t help the show at all. Her segment begins with an awkward intro, albeit most likely the fault of Chris and the terrible writers the BBC has employed. The first lap ends with the twat that is Chris Evans begging for air and for the car to slow down. Seriously? What kind of car show host are you? Oh yes, you aren’t one. Clarkson was. I don’t recall him ever pathetically begging for mercy on a racetrack… The second lap? Chris rolls out of the car like a pathetic loser and then dumps his breakfast all over the racetrack. Great, now Laguna Seca is tainted forever.

The next segment features the forever unlikable Chris Harris. Chris Harris is the “car guy” that wannabe car guys refer to in hopes of seeming more legitimate or perhaps like they are in the know, so to speak. As such, he fits in perfectly with the terrible cast of the new Top Gear. In his segment he drives a classic Ferrari 250 TDF as well as the new Ferrari F12 TDF.

                               

       

If you think no one could be as obnoxious to listen to as Evans, then you should give this segment a listen and you will find someone giving their all to claim the title. Here’s hoping we don’t see much more of him in the future. At least we know he wont be on The Tour.

The guest stars in a rally car segment this episode are Kevin Hart and Anthony Joshua. Kevin Hart is his usual self and is perhaps a small bit of relief from what is otherwise a hard to get through show. The show continues to force the extremely awkward new tradition of making the stars introduce one another which is painful to watch. This is followed by an interview which seems to last an eternity but ends in a painfully setup show plot.

The following segment features Rory Reid ( and yes almost all Americans will say ” who the fuck is Rory Reid”) driving the new Ford Focus RS. Car aside, the segment was probably the best of the show. Reid is well spoken but not exceptionally exciting to listen to or to watch. Perhaps he holds more appeal across the pond. One note was the already infamous Focus RS “Drift Mode” was done one a soaking wet racetrack. Curious, very curious. Reid follows up the Focus with a new Civic and Benz hatch “review” which is half-assed and obviously biased. This is where he lost me as a viewer. No respect for unequal car reviews. Come on. He ends his segment saying the RS is ” more super than super cars”. Ok bud, congratulations. You’re now as idiotic as the other hosts.

The final segment features the infinite media whore ( in the best possible way) that is Ken Block. He takes us on yet another of his now extremely tired and over done gymkhana rides featuring all the slow-mo GoPro style shots and silly aerial views we have all come to expect and have become callused to. Forced comedy continues throughout the segment as Joey, er, sorry Matt tries to get out his terribly written one liners with little more than, what I expect to be, a disappointed frown from viewers. The entire video like the rest of the show feels overly scripted and forced. It’s a shame a nice guy like Block got suckered into appearing on this show at this point.

So as Top Gear continues to go down in flames at least we can hold on to this one thing: The Tour with Clarkson, Hammond, and May will be here in October. We just have to old on until then.

PS: How did they miss the best opportunity for a great Stig Gag here?

(It should have been the Stig painting it)

Top Gear Is Dead

Time of death, 8 PM, June 5th, 2016

After the premier of its second episode with the new cast, and for some reason nearly identical format,  the newest season of Top Gear looks to be dead, or at least on terminal life support. With viewership nearly HALF of  that of the premier episode, which was followed by hordes of negative feedback, the show does not have a great outlook. With Chris Evans and the BBC already digging the grave with the pre-premier antics and post premier let downs, will this bode well for the current cast? Will the BBC try to refresh the show yet again next season? Will it in fact be, the final death of Top Gear?

Another nail in the coffin of Top Gear is the ever amusing antics of the original trio themselves. With little more than a box and an office the classic Top Gear boys have amassed millions of views on YouTube with hilariously positive reviews in comparison to their replacements.

It doesn’t look good for Evans, Leblanc and the other however many hosts they are still trying to stuff into the new season.  So how was the new episode, you ask? Well it was just as hard to get through as the last. With painfully forced jokes, and an incredibly awkward chemistry ( can you even call it that)

the show has not improved. The show attempts to stuff 6 additional guests on top of LeBlanc and Evans,  which creates a confusing, and overwhelming amount of people to pay attention to. Three of the hosts participate in a South Africa SUV challenge which is boring at best and leaves you wanting of the antics of Clarkson and the boys, with them leaving each other behind, breaking down, and cracking jokes. At one point in this misadventure, one SUV breaks down in the African wild, is suddenly in town being repaired, and then again somewhere back in the wild. All of this, on top of the terrible other challenges and terrible chemistry between the guest hosts and the other two leave the viewer in wishing maybe the were dead instead of watching.

The new rally style course for a star in a reasonably priced car segment seems boring in what should have been an elevation of concept. The mini, somehow worse than the econo-boxes from days of yore, and the narration of the laps, and sad attempt at imitation. Even the segment featuring the Mclaren F1 and Mclaren 675LT falls short of expectations. With blatant over acting, and a lack of really any significant facts and figures as well as ANOTHER guest appearance, Top Gear is absolutely over compensating for the loss of its true stars. So you heard it hear first, Top Gear is dead.

The New (ish) Top Gear: Season 23 Episode 1 Review

 

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I’ll admit it, I am a huge fan of the original trio, as I think most everyone is despite  the large viewership that occurred with the first episode of the revamped Top Gear. Despite this, there was no shortage of action on Twitter from angry former fans condemning the show. Soon after its showing, Chris Evans took to Twitter angrily defending the show in what was, quite honestly, a pathetic showing. All of that aside, lets get to why you’re actually here, the show.

The season starts off with what can only be described as an awkward at best introduction of the show and the hosts made worse by the obvious copy cat action of the former host by Chris Evans. That soon becomes the trend throughout the show as a nasal and annoyingly voiced ( maybe that’s just to me) host blatantly trying his best to be a second rate Clarkson. This is made worse only by Matt’s “exciting as a pile of rocks” performance. His monotone voice, drones on throughout segments, never showing the faintest hint of enthusiasm for his new position. The show also hammer’s into you that Matt is American, with American themed cars, and clothing among other references. Aside from Matt and Chris, Sabine is also nothing but a reference at best throughout the episode. As obviously the most talented, at least in the driving division, you would hope they would better employ her talents. The hosts however, are only part of the problem.

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The segments are near mirror images of episodes of yesteryear, only executed far worse. If anything, you can give them that they are consistent in their terribleness. It seems that instead of trying something new and perhaps redeeming the show as, at least, a valiant attempt to once again reinvent the wheel, as it were, they instead employ this technique of shameless reproduction.  Familiar segments such as “the star in a reasonably priced car” seemed forced and uncreative. This episode featured Gordon Ramsay and Jesse Eisenberg. In retrospect, maybe these two should have been approached as hosts as they both had loads more charisma than any of the current staff.

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As the series evolves, can it get better? I’m not sure, Obviously using the same exact formula, you would think they would be able to acquire some level of, at least, mediocrity but with the hosts, as is, there is a lot of doubt. We will see what happens as more episodes are aired. Look for further reviews as well as reviews of the ” The Grand Tour” with the classic boys as soon as it airs.

And on that bombshell…

Top Gear Season 23 Trailer

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